Irma Lengkong is the textbook definition of a third culture kid. Coming from a family of Indonesians, she grew up and saw a large chunk of the world. Upon asking her for a brief interview, Irma chuckled, and we excused ourselves from the dinner party at a friend’s house, pulling two chairs separate from the commotion in the kitchen.
Irma grew up in Brooklyn, New York City, which was evident in her thick accent when speaking English. Her Indonesian, however, was sharp and typical of a native Jakartan. Like any third culture kid she was used to flying across oceans to visit family over the holidays, hopping from the busy city of Jakarta to the quaint island of Bali. After living around a cacophony of different cultures, Irma finally decided to live in England in 2009.
You could tell from the sincerity in her voice that she loved her two sons. When her British husband fell ill, he requested, as “his dying wish…to send the kids to school in England”. Thus, Irma sold her business in Bali, bid farewell to her family and friends, and fulfilled her late husband’s wish. Bringing along her kids, who were 10 and 11 then, she began a new chapter, living in England.
Despite mourning the loss of a loving husband and father, Irma thought it was “the best decision ever” to bring her kids to school in England. However Irma admitted to having a hard time finding friends in London, where she resided at the time. “It was easier back in the States”, she told me, shrugging her shoulders. “I only knew two people when I first moved here; two Indonesians.”, who she still stays in touch with.
Irma also inevitably felt homesick, longing to spend time with her friends and family. Strangely enough, Irma wouldn’t indulge in Indonesian food, which was a common cure for ethnic people who were far from home. Instead, she would spend her days with a companion: a hush puppy named Bobo, who travelled with her to 13 countries around Europe, before Brexit complicated Bobo’s dog passport and the pandemic closed borders.
Irma is extremely family oriented. From following her husband’s dying wish to the endless doting for her sons, she has found solace in her family. Having moved from America and then between Jakarta, Singapore and Bali with her kids, it was difficult for Irma to find a place to call home. Now, settling in the countryside in Lincoln, Irma has made herself a home where she is closest to the people important to her.